BREAKING NEWS: THE PERFECT TIME NOT TO BUY A BOW

Bowtreader Weekly is back folks, with some breaking news secured just… well, around three years ago. 

You may be surprised at what we have discovered on this divisive topic. It's heavily debated, but we are proud to say we have finally found the answer (three years ago). Using our professional argument-machines at Bowtreader, the verdict has been determined “for guaranteed and for sure.” 

Better strap your boots on for this one. Glue your socks to your feet, nail your butt to the chair, and hold onto your hat. Here it is... 

Now is the perfect time NOT to buy a bow.

Yes, we know. Due to the fact that everyone else is hooking up with their new setups around this time, you’re probably about ready for yours. 

Rifle season hasn’t come in yet, which means bowhunters own the woods — chances are, you think you need to get out there too. 

The fact that trail cameras have been texting you pictures nearly every day is another temptation and... oh yeah, our store is also stocked up with a ton of lightweight Sitka gear right now, which is yet another thing that is getting you itching to gear up. 

AND we have thermacells stocked up too, right along with all of those good-looking new bows and neck guards to keep the bugs off of you in the stand. 

But don’t let the signs fool you. Now is NOT the time to get a new bow. 

You may think that these new top-of-the-line bows have the best technology so far. And you are right. They do.

But with your fray-stringed, duck-taped, limb-popping, dull-colored, red-necked, old-timer of a bow, how could you possibly want one of those? 

Or maybe your bow is in fine condition — you just want the upgrade because that is just how good the new 2021’s are. Well, it is.

But with our kind-of-easy-to-handle, bow-tech-savvy, give-ya-a-laugh, and “guaranteed real good” guys, why would you bother to stop in?

And why on GOD’S GREEN EARTH would you dare come in to buy a sweet new one if you have all the money saved aside — and your bow is out the pasture with some substance a little more questionable than duct tape holding it together — and you have a “I work on it myself,” explosion guaranteed, two-minute warranty deal on it?*

*if you do, please bring the trusty old piece of JUNK by and we will take care of that and all but give you a new bow

Whatever your situation — whether a hunter or if you just shoot for sport — if you care anything about propriety, you won't come in to Bowtreader now. 

Especially not since bow season started six weeks ago...

And not at all because it is the perfect sport to get your kids into for a great after school activity...

Or because they are disappearing off the racks at an alarming rate because people just keep falling for the old test shoot and then hand over the wallet...

Had enough yet? Yeah, us too (kind of).

It's unbelievable, but it's true, that we have so many customers coming in NOW to buy bows from us. Crossbows, good old compounds, competition bows, starter bows, and even some fishing ones.

The poor folks just don’t know that it is not the right time to buy bows. 

Despite what everyone but us seems to think, three weeks after the season starts? That is prime time NOT to buy a bow. 

The prime time to get your hands on something new, we have officially determined, is actually August or September. Life is still slow, the shop isn’t too crowded and there is plenty of time to get set up just right for whatever you are preparing for. The range is always available to make sure you got it right and custom strings get in much faster. 

Not only that, the fishing gear we put out for the summer is some of the best in town and all of it is a family-friendly, one-stop shop. Heck, if it is going to be August when you buy a new one, it might as well be July. Or June. Or May. And April. And March. And January. And December. Pretty much every month in between too. Except this month. 

The rest of our customers don’t know this, but we at least had the decency to tell you. And your buddy, who you will send this article to.

Listen, now is just not the time to buy a bow...

The only reason you should even think about it is if you want one

…or need it (we are looking at you, redneckalicous)

…or you just want to stop by and try it out

…or you desperately need the gear for the season

…or your kids are starting out

…or you had an accident which was totally not your fault and that old two-minute warranty disappeared on you

Besides those and about, oh... 100-something other reasons, good customer, there is absolutely no reason for you to come buy a bow right now.

Or even stop by to try it out. Or get yours worked on. No reason. At. All.

Now have you had enough? Fine.

Well, at least in these five minutes you have spent reading this we have gotten one important fact through your head. Now is not the time to buy a bow. 

Don’t forget it. 

Unless, of course, we somehow gave you the perfect excuse to buy one.

In that case, come on ASAP and try one out. 

Now is the perfect time for you to buy a bow.

What are you waiting for then? Quit wasting your time reading this very important article and head on down to buy a bow.

Also in The Saturday Morning Post